Thursday, November 30, 2006

Christmas Shopping?

"Psst. Hey! You there?"

"Of course. Where else would I be."

"Hey, don't sound so sad."

"It's just, ya know, being in here on the holidays and all."

"Miss your family?"

"I don't really have any family, except a sister. The one who visits me every weekend."

"Did you get her a present for Christmas?"

"How could I? There aren't any shops in here."

"You could shop online..."

"I've told you my feelings about that!"

"OK, OK."

"Besides, I don't have a dime to my name. Got some debts piled up too."

"Well... you don't like buying online, I know. But would you be opposed to making a few bucks there? There's lots to be had."


"Yeah. I can show you, next time we're in the rec room. We can get online there."

"Can't They see whatever we do then?"

"It won't matter if They do. Just don't put in any private info, ya know."

"Smart girl. That's always exactly what I say."

"Yeah, I know. I'm a quick study."

"Yeah, you are."

Log entry. 23 December. Group A (Patients 389645, 390086, 465791, 025486)

Will begin new programme of treatment today. Four patients will begin regular interaction, instead of each interacting individually with me. The interaction between Patients 389645 and 465791 through the vents in their rooms gave me the idea. After reflecting on Patient 465791's interruption of the session with Patient 025486 recently, it more or less convinced me that group interaction should be useful for all of these patients. Will observe the interacting together over the next few weeks, as an experiment, to see if the sessions show any useful results.

Will begin the sessions after the holiday. For now, we will all rest and celebrate together.

Just to clarify...

"So you're saying you don't trust anyone enough to even buy things online?"

"Well, it is scary, ya know."

"Sure. There are plenty of scary things in life that we do every day, though."

"Yeah? Do you?"


"Not me. I'm careful. I know how to keep out of danger."

"Yes, well... you do walk down the street don't you?"

"No, I walk on the sidewalk."

"That's what I meant."

"Oh. Then, yeah."

"But that is pretty dangerous. Someone could mug you."

"Uh... not if you are careful. Like me. I know They are always watching, so I watch my back. Ya know?"

"Yes. Well... the point is, you do things, even if they are scary, sometimes."

"What's that got to do with shopping online?"

"Well, surely you see the connection I'm making. You claim it's dangerous to give out private details. I'm saying it's no more dangerous than things you do in life every day."

"Oh. Hm. I see."

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Online Shoppers

And I'm telling you, she just buys everything online! She was going on about books, DVDs, clothes... all that is alright. I wouldn't much want to do it myself, but I know some people do. And man, she was just going on and on. She was talking about the huge variety of things she buys online. Even gold and jewelry! Can you imagine?

So, she goes on like that, and it just struck me how dangerous it all is. How could you ever give your personal details out like that? Just think what someone could do with all that information they've now got on you. Scary stuff, man.

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Early Retirement?

"You mean you and Jackie tried to retire?"


"But you went back to work thereafter?"


"And then you started this successful business?"


"And now here you are."

"Clearly so."

"May I ask a rather personal question?"

"Sure. Shoot."

"How old, precisely, were you when this happened?"



"Well, it's hard to remember that exactly. I'd say I was about 25 or so."

"Only 25? And you were retiring?"

"Well, yes, but Jackie was older. In his late 30s."

"And retiring?"

"Yes. He did very well and had made some rather good money, and thought he'd settle down to a quiet life. But this opporunity came up-"

"Yes. So you said."

"-and we couldn't pass it up."

"I see."

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Log entry. 21 December. Patient 390086

Patient was offended when she realized I do not believe the stories she has been telling. When I pointed out that people who have the sort of money she claims to have don't usually end up in this sort of facilities, but more upscale ones, she laughed at me. She claims that the money she and 'Jackie' have made is kept in a private account, protected from heavy taxation in this way.

She is good, I will have to admit. She comes up with an explanation for everything, and only very seldom waffles.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Log entry. 21 December. Patient 389645

Patient seemed to show concern for my state today. It seems he's coming out of his shell to some extent. Though he does still often revert back to his old paranoia. It is, still, real progress. He's come a long way since beginning our sessions together, though I must admit that it has been a frustrating path to achieve even the small bit of progress that we have seen so far. He is not easy to work with, not by any means.

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Monday, November 27, 2006

What are you worried about?

"So what has caused this concern in you, about my links and my website and all this?"

"Oh, you know... I've always really only been concerned for your own well-being and all. I don't warn you like this for nothing, and I certainly don't get anything out of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what do you think I get out of it?"

"Oh who knows? Maybe you yourself are working for some higher ups that give you a promotion if you somehow 'convert' me."

"Is that what you think?"

"Me? Oh no. Not at all."

"Then why did you say that?"

"I was just stating a hypothetical. To make a point."

"Yeah, well. You've made your point."

"What do you mean?"

"Is someone listening to us?"


"Or watching us?"

"No. Of course not."

"Yeah. Sure. OK."

"You look uncomfortable."

"No- Ahem. No. Not at all."

Log entry. 19 December. Patient 390086

Patient is rather good at making the details fit into her narrative. She claims she is a novelist, and a famous one. Or rather, that she was a novelist, but gave it up for this love of her life who appears in all of her wild stories, this Jackie. But of course, her novels were of the racy sort, and not the type she'd use her real name on.

How convenient.

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OK, but wait...

"Well, that's all well and good. And it does make sense. I mean, I understand it, for sure. But, I still have a question."


"Are you telling me that you really were a successful writer?"

"Oh that. Why... yes... of course."

"Well, um... then, why have I never heard your name before meeting you here?"

"Oh. Hahahaha. That's easy. Of course I used a pseudonym. I wasn't writing precisely the kind of thing I'd like my real name to appear on, if you know what I mean. And besides, I have a half-crazy daughter who's convinced that every book I write is based on her. She's a bit of a narcissist."

"Oh. Well. Yes. I see."

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Recommended Reading

And so there I sat, at the book signing. It was hot, and the line was still very long, but I had only agreed to another 20 minutes or so. I knew my agent would hate it, but I wasn't about to stay a minute longer than I was obligated to.

And that's when it hit me. The writer's life wasn't what I was wanting. At least, not this sort of life. I mean, what Jackie was offering was just so much better, you know? I mean, who could resist him?

Recommended Reading

Log Entry. 19 December. Patient 465791

Another odd session. Seems to be the week for them, I suppose.

Patient was trying to sell me property, and I had to explain to her how happy I am with my own arrangements. In the end, it seemed that I was convincing her to use my agency. Strange how the tables were turned that way yet again. I am not sure quite what brought me to do it. It was a surprise to me as much as to anyone.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Mixed Bag

Fiery icicles hanging from the lofty peaks of the random rainmakers. Riotous rolled-up youthful kittens rollicking about, winding through the thicket. They know, they know. They always know that life is no rifle range. Shoot the rapids, scale the ripples. Ripped up, ripped off, ribbons of reeking rabid wrappers. Rancid in the least degree, we are no more the boys of winter, nor summer.

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"I'm sorry. Can you say that again?"

"Wind, reigns, deer, closet full of poesies."

"Shall we all fall down?"




"Um. I said, 'shall we all fall down?'"


"Do you understand what it is I am referring to?"


"You said a closetful of poesies. I picked up on the rhyme 'Ring Around the Rosey,' and made a pun on it."


"You do get it, don't you?"


"Don't you?"



"Hahahahahahahaha... aaaaaaaaah."

"Yes, that's it. That's it indeed."




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Friday, November 17, 2006

Log entry. 18 December. Patient 389645

A very odd session with patient today. Seems he wants to turn his paranoia around on me, seeking information about my private affairs. I suspect he thought he had me cornered, feeling uncomfortable. I've outsmarted him then. Of course, I am used to such things and wasn't in the least disconcerted by his tactics. Although he is certain to try to dig more into my private business, that doesn't bother me a bit, not in the least.

Will see patient again in 2 days to follow up.

When's the Big Day?

When's the big day, huh? Heard you were tying the knot... getting married... starting a new life... all that stuff. It's sweet, really. I never quite thought of you as the marrying type.

It must be really difficult, in your line and all.

Does she know? Is she in on your secret? How does she take it?

Or have you kept her away from all of that world?

I've always wondered how your type does it. I mean, it isn't all that uncommon for guys like you to get married. Part of the cover, maybe.

So, what does she say about it all?


Thursday, November 16, 2006

Log entry. 17 December. Patient 025486

Odd session with patient today. Just as we were getting into our discussion, Patient 465791 burst in with her normal drivel. (Back to that, after the silent treatment from the previous session. More on that in her own file.)

Patient responded to the interruption in an acceptable way, with one exception. The words contained in his speech still did not flow in a sense-making way.



"What are you doing in here?"

"Why... I'm just telling you about the Knot Wedding Shop."

"Can't you see I am with a patient?"

"Not a shop? Have patience."


"You need to leave this instance."

"But, don't forget to visit that shop, ok?"


"And if you want some help with honeymoon plans, I can recommend that too-"

"I said out!"

"Rabid cobras running wild all over the site. What a fright it gives to all around!"

"You're funny."

"That's it! Nurse!"

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The Journeys of Showintale

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006


"What's to see?"


"Don't you understand that all these things you are saying make no sense?"

"Dollars and cents, assuredly. It can't be that the president's men were putting it together once and for all. The tidal wave and the fishy hucksters will always be that way. Once and for all."

"This is just the sort of thing I mean. Your tone is reasonable, but the words you string together don't make sense."

"Riding the fence."

"Wait, I should rephrase that. The words themselves make sense. But not the way you've put them together."

"Eyes see."

"Yes, they do."

"Pay your dues."


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Jungle Jumble

Jungle jumble burning bright, with night tiger's eyesight failing. I cannot tell nor can I sail when the night air is so filled with foggy brimstone. Henry Ford's model airplane took off to the dance, without a date on the calendar girl.

Once it happens, it can't complete the process, if you know what I mean. Does he? When the time comes, the hellfires will rise up and call us blessed. And then we will all know just how relaxed a state we live for, and that it won't last for long. The euphoria that fills the bucket to overflowing, will decrease, but he will increase.

When the download is completed, that should be the end of the story, at the end of the day. So I've heard.

You see?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Log entry. 17 December. Patient 390086

Saw patient for these 2 consecutive days. Perhaps I finally have her. She claims her picture appeared in the Times a few years ago during the Hannukah season with the Prime Minister of Israel. That should be easy enough to disprove, I suppose. It might just be the needed break. If I can show that she's never appeared in the paper with the Prime Minister, perhaps she'll cease to believe these wild tales she's telling.

Let me guess...

"Let me guess... was this friend you visited the Prime Minister of Israel?"

"Why, yes! How did you know?"

"Lucky guess, I suppose."

"Oh you are a joker. I know! You saw my picture in the Times, didn't you?"

"In the Times?"

"Sure. It was just a few years ago. I suppose you might recognize me from that picture."

"Do you remember which month?"

"Um.... it was Hannukah."

"Oh. Yes. Right. I see. Um.... which year?"

"The first time was maybe 6 years ago. But I think the picture appeared three or four years back."

"I see."


"Oh. Nothing much. Just curious."

Monday, November 13, 2006

Log entry. 16 December. Patient 389645

Perhaps I moved too quickly with the patient today. Seems he was ready to open up to me, even talking about fond memories. But I pushed for him to trust me with more, and he clammed right back up. Seems afraid that my gestures of friendship had ulterior motives.

I was right about Patient 465791. Patient 389645 today admitted that the two of them have been talking. I am afraid he influenced her.

Perhaps the influence will do them both good. One talking too much, the other not enough. One too trusting, the other not enough. It will have to be monitored though.

You sure have a lot to say today

"You're talkative today."


"Yes. Indeed."

"I guess. Does it bother you?"

"Not at all. I rather like it. I'm just wondering why the change."

"I guess I am lonely. My neighbour won't talk to me anymore."

"Why not?"

"She thinks I'm one of you, I think."


"Yeah. I knew you'd like that."

"No. It isn't that. It's just rather curious."

"What do ya mean?"

"Well, why don't you tell me what happened?"

"What do you want to know for?"

"Well, I do rather hope we can be friends, you know."

"Do you now?"

"Certainly. I've been trying to be your friend all along."

"So you have...."

"Does that bother you?"

"Not that exactly, but...."





"OK. I see."

Log entry. 16 December. Patient 390086

Patient seems very confused. Seems to be confused, thinking she is some one of some importance. Even implied she is Al Gore. When I pointed this out, she became belligerent.

It is getting rather serious, these lies she's telling. Dealing with a pathological liar is never easy. The difficulty, at the moment, is finding out just how much of her lies she actually believes, and how much she is aware it is all made up.

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By Implication

"Are you trying to tell me that you created the whole blog advertising frenzy?"


"It sounds like that is what you are saying."

"No. Who do you think I am? Al Gore?"

"You are not Al Gore."

"I know I'm not. That's what I said."

"No you didn't."

"Well, I did imply it."

"Just like you implied you started the whole blog ad craze."

"I did not imply that! I just told you about how these things work!"

"But surely you can see-"

"No I cant see!"

"I see."

"I'm sure you do."

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Sunday, November 12, 2006




"Hey, lady!"


"What'cha doing?"

"I'm not talking right now."

"Good, good. Don't talk to Them."

"I'm not talking to anyone."

"That's not a bad idea, to tell ya the truth. So what happened to bring about this change?"


"Did you hear?"

"I heard."


"I already told you I'm not talking."

"But... but you can talk to me! Surely you know I'm harmless."

"How would I know?"

"Why..... because...."

"I see."

Friday, November 10, 2006

Log entry. 15 December. Patient 025486

May have taken a risky approach with patient today. I treated the Fruit Salad Speak as if it were coherent dialogue. Convinced patient that what he needs is a goal, something to make him more focused. Patient will be taking up an online course.

This might have been the wrong suggestion, but it was the first that came to mind. It grew out of his Fruit Salad Speak.

I talked way too much in the session. You'd have thought I was Patient 465791, the way I was going on!

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A Hole in My Life

There's a hole in my life. Black hole, white sky, blue grass, country music, or country style dining.

Loneliness overwhelms the green state of being when the orchids are in bloom. Or when they wilt under the cold rains of the jungle night sky. Concerted effort is needed to apply ourselves to the destruction of the village. Progress!

Education. That's the secret. A hole that must be filled.

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Log entry. 15 December. Patient 390086

Thought I'd made some real progress with Patient today. She was recognizing the difference between reality and fiction, describing the need for auto insurance. Kept a clear line between that and the film she'd seen firmly in place while discussing the two. Was very hopeful this represented a breakthrough.

It seems, though, that she cannot apply this difference in reference to her thoughts about Jackie. Hoping this will be a starting point for real progress. Perhaps, eventually.

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Car Crashes

It was so cool. This car was flying, and I mean flying down the road. It swerved here, swerved there, and finally jumped up over another car, flipping several times and finally landing on its roof. The driver opened the door and got out-

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Log entry. 15 December. Patient 465791

Patient seems to have been talking too much with patient in neighbouring cell. That is Patient 389645. It seems today she (Patient 465791) decided to take Patient 389645's approach and stop speaking to me at all. It is something of a relief from her normal ongoing chatter. Those two couldn't be more opossite, as far as that goes.

I am afraid, though, that this is anything but progress. Uncertain at present what approach to take. This is certainly an unexpected obstacle in both patients treatment.

We will see.

You do realize...?

"You do realize, don't you, that I mentioned this very thing to you some time back?"

"No, I don't think you did."

"Yes, you've tried to make a prescription for me before. See, it's here in my notes."

"Hee hee ha ha hee hee ha. That's funny, Doc. You had me going for a minute."


"I almost believed my neighbour when you said that."

"What do you mean?"

"Um. Never mind. Maybe I should just shut up."

"No, no. Go on. This is most interesting."


"Come now. We've always gotten along so well."


"I see. OK then. So be it."

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Friday, November 03, 2006

Log entry. 14 December. Patient 389645

Patient continues to persist in paranoia. Observation sessions generally end with an attempt at turning the tables (patient trying to question me). Seems perhaps some progress today. Conversation was more sustained.